Why Most Tools for Neurodivergent People Fail—and What to Do Instead

For us neurodivergent folks, navigating life can sometimes feel like trying to fit into a world designed with different brains in mind.

Many of the tools and techniques commonly recommended for improving organisation, focus, and productivity are created based on neurotypical norms. Yet for neurodivergent individuals, this focus on “fitting in” rather than flourishing can lead to frustration, burnout, and even feelings of inadequacy. If you’ve tried tools and methods and found they eventually fall short, know that it’s not a personal failing—it’s a systemic one.

True success comes from understanding how your unique mind works and embracing a supportive approach that respects it.

This belief is what inspired me to create the RADIATE model.

Why Most Traditional Tools Don’t Work for Neurodivergent People

1. They Ignore Individual Differences
   Many tools aimed at organisation or productivity, whether apps, planners, or time-blocking techniques, are designed with neurotypical functioning in mind. Research shows that neurodivergent people process information differently, often displaying distinct attentional and executive functioning styles, which don’t necessarily align with linear or rigid methods (Russell et al., 2021). Neurodivergent brains vary widely, and tools that ignore this diversity tend to offer temporary solutions at best.
   
2. They Emphasise ‘Fixing’ Rather than ‘Flourishing’
   Traditional tools frequently operate on the premise that neurodivergent traits are issues to be corrected. This problem-solving approach can overlook the strengths and creative potential within neurodivergent thinking. Studies on ADHD and autism have shown that these conditions often come with distinct cognitive and creative strengths (White & Shah, 2011), and ignoring these means missing valuable opportunities for flourishing rather than merely “fixing” perceived deficits.
   
3. They Create Rigid Rules Instead of Flexibility
   Neurodivergent people are often encouraged to adhere to routines or techniques that are too rigid to maintain over time. This can create feelings of guilt and failure when those routines fail to hold up, as found in studies on neurodivergent adherence to neurotypical schedules (Adams et al., 2018). For those with ADHD, autism, and similar conditions, flexibility and adaptability are crucial to sustain meaningful changes.
   

RADIATE: A Framework for Flourishing

After my diagnoses, I spent time exploring various strategies to help me manage my daily life. But most failed me, especially in the long term, as they pushed me to work in ways that weren’t natural for me. That experience led me to create the RADIATE model, a framework built around self-acceptance, authenticity, and a strengths-based approach.

RADIATE recognises that each person’s journey is unique and meets you where you are, offering structure without rigid confines. Rather than prescribing rules, it empowers you to set up a life that aligns with your values, talents, and goals.

Here’s what each step in RADIATE represents:

• Reflection: The first step involves understanding your life experiences and how they have shaped who you are today. Self-reflection helps you gain insight into your strengths and challenges, fostering self-awareness, which research links to greater life satisfaction and self-acceptance in neurodivergent individuals (Nichols et al., 2019).
• Acceptance: Self-acceptance is essential for any personal growth journey. In neurodivergent people, this means acknowledging strengths and challenges without judgment. Studies show that self-acceptance is particularly beneficial for autistic and ADHD individuals, helping to improve self-esteem and resilience (Adams et al., 2021).
• Discovering Core Values: Values provide a sense of direction and help guide choices. Research in positive psychology shows that aligning actions with personal values leads to greater motivation, wellbeing, and fulfilment (Deci & Ryan, 2008). For neurodivergent people, living a values-driven life allows for a stronger internal compass, unhampered by external pressures to conform.
• Innovation: Creativity and flexibility are central to RADIATE. Neurodivergent brains often excel in creative problem-solving, so finding adaptive ways to support your unique needs allows you to thrive. Research suggests that autistic and ADHD individuals may be especially skilled at divergent thinking, enabling them to find novel solutions that work for them (White & Shah, 2011).
• Advocacy: Setting boundaries and advocating for your needs is crucial. Neurodivergent people frequently experience burnout when trying to meet neurotypical standards, but setting healthy boundaries improves wellbeing and reduces stress (Russell et al., 2021). Advocacy is about respecting yourself enough to create a life that supports you.
• Transformation: Bringing it all together, transformation is the result of the earlier stages. The goal is to build a life that feels balanced and meaningful. When aligned with your unique strengths and values, transformation feels authentic rather than forced.
• Empowerment: Empowering yourself is not only about personal fulfilment but also about inspiring others. By living authentically, neurodivergent individuals can challenge stereotypes, encouraging greater understanding and inclusivity for future generations.

Using the RADIATE Model in Real Life

The RADIATE model is not a quick fix. It’s a framework that requires time, honesty, and commitment. For those of us who tend to rush through things, it may be tempting to skim through each step. But to truly benefit, you need to approach it slowly and intentionally.

One of the benefits of RADIATE is its flexibility.

You can use it to support your whole life or apply it to specific areas, like career, relationships, or even handling specific situations, such as navigating a difficult workplace dynamic. Each time you revisit RADIATE, it meets you where you are, adapting to the changes you experience over time.

Final Thoughts

Neurodivergent individuals are often handed tools that fit like ill-fitting hats—uncomfortable, restrictive, and frustrating. But it’s time we move away from rigid systems that don’t account for unique ways of thinking. Instead, we need frameworks like RADIATE, which offer a more holistic, person-centred approach to thriving.

So, if you find yourself struggling with traditional tools, take a step back. Ask yourself: Is this working for me, or am I just trying to force myself to fit into a system that isn’t built for me? If it’s the latter, let go, and try something different. The RADIATE model is one approach that not only supports your unique strengths but also empowers you to live a life that feels true and fulfilling.

References

• Adams, Z. W., Comer, J. S., & Danielson, C. K. (2018). Neurodevelopmental disorders and the challenge of routine adherence. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 47(5), 777-785.
• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2008). Self-determination theory: A macrotheory of human motivation, development, and health. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie Canadienne, 49(3), 182-185.
• Nichols, S., Moravcik, G., & Tetenbaum, S. P. (2019). Improving self-esteem in neurodivergent individuals. Journal of Self and Identity, 18(4), 431-445.
• Russell, G., Steer, C., & Golding, J. (2021). Neurodiversity and mental health in autism: The role of self-advocacy. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 51(7), 2396-2409.
• White, H. A., & Shah, P. (2011). Creative style and achievement in adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Personality and Individual Differences, 50(5), 673-677.