Time Blindness : From Chaos To Clarity!

Time Blindness - It can be a curse AND a gift!

There’s been a lot of attention on time blindness recently, in the media, when it comes to ADHD. Mostly the narrative has been pretty negative, but I personally believe it can be a little secret superpower sometimes!

Sure, time blindness isn’t the best when it’s the cause of you running late, missing appointments or losing a whole day in something that wasn’t top of the priority list, but it’s not all bad!

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve seen success in your professional life, but you also know the whirlwind that your personal life can often become. It’s the double edged sword of ADHD. Maybe you’ve harnessed your ADHD and your time blindness for your professional life, but it leaves you exhausted in your personal life?

Maybe you can hold it all together at work, create magic, put out fires and generally be an all round over achiever, but when you get home you’re exhausted and feel like someone has replaced your brain with a bowl of jelly?

Can you tell I’ve been there? SO MANY TIMES!! Prior to knowing I was ADHD I just thought I was really s*@t at adulting. That is actually what I used to tell myself. I could make it through my working day and get all the stuff done, somehow. In corporate, the route to delivery was never linear and drove my managers insane, but I always delivered – often in a blaze of triumphant glory. High on adrenaline, exhausted, but relieved I’d escaped being ‘told off’. Phew!

Then back to my personal life. Not that I really had one. Being autistic ADHD meant I was dealing with the sensory overwhelm and challenges that bought to my life. And the exhaustion from being in a work environment, spinning the plates and juggling ALL the balls, meant there was nothing left for my personal life. And when I did make plans to go out (the ones you can’t find an excuse to get out of!), I was ALWAYS late, and sometimes I forgot to turn up completely.

Entrepreneur life has been so much easier on that front, as I dance to my own tune. But that is not without it’s challenges too! Time blindness became way more of an issue then, as I went down rabbit holes, working on things that bought little value to my business.

Here's how I like to look at it

First off, I want you to know this: I don’t believe for one minute that ADHD is a barrier to success. In fact, those very traits that make us who we are, are often what make us great leaders and innovators. The energy, creativity, and ability to hyperfocus that ADHD gives us can make us powerhouses in our business.

But, if we’re being honest, that same energy can feel like a whirlwind when it comes to navigating our personal lives.

I know first hand the contrast between running a business like a well-oiled machine, and feeling like I’m barely keeping it together elsewhere. I’ve experienced the exhaustion that comes from juggling my professional prowess with personal challenges. And I can tell you, it’s a tightrope walk that many neurotypical people aren’t aware we face.

It can feel like we’re spinning a lot of plates, can’t it? Here’s how I like to think about those plates: Some of them are going to fall and crash to the ground. Some are going to fly spectacularly across the room, never to be seen again. Some are going to wobble precariously, before either balancing out or…..you guessed it, crash to the floor or so flying across the room! BUT….some are going to stay perfectly balanced and graceful.

We don’t need to keep all the plates spinning, all of the time. Maybe we could remove some plates, to make our lives a little easier, or maybe we could just accept that some will make it, and some won’t! And that, my friend, is perfectly OK.

Time blindness can often impact our personal lives

Being successful and outwardly “put-together” can sometimes make it seem like we’ve got it all figured out. But behind closed doors, the simple, everyday tasks can feel insurmountable

Our homes can become disorganised, we might forget important dates or events, and we often have to contend with emotional sensitivity and impulsivity. The whirlwind of our personal lives can seem a stark contrast to our professional achievements. These are all things I’ve personally experienced, and they have caused me great distress at times. My time blindness was a serious issue in my personal life, and still would be, if I hadn’t learnt some ways to manage it.

I am known in my family as ‘the late one’. Sometimes I’m the very late one. It wasn’t until I discovered my ADHD that I understood this. It wasn’t that I didn’t know where I was supposed to me, or at what time – I set multiple reminders in my phone, setting a two hour alarm, 1 hours and then 15 minutes – for when I need to get my backside out the door. The problem comes when it’s getting close to leaving. I’d start a task that I thought would take 5 minutes, but an hour later I’m still there – unable to leave until it’s done. Or I’ll decide my shoes don’t go with my outfit, and then try on multiple other pairs, oh and then the whole outfit changes too – because, well – you know!

Then I head over to see my family or meet friends knowing I’m late, feeling embarrassed and ashamed and dreaming up elaborate reasons why I wasn’t on time. I’ve come up with some cracking reasons over the years, I can tell you!

Understanding time blindness has really helped me to have self-compassion in these moments. I’ve explained to my family and friends, some understanding, some choosing not to. But since learning more about my own ADHD and seeing how it plays out in my life, I have developed some really helpful strategies to deal with time blindness.

I still have a million reminders on my phone, giving me notice to leave the house. But I also have only ever been a few minutes late since I started to understand how to manage my time blindness – and I’ve not missed a single personal appointment (go me!). I don’t allow myself to start a new ‘5 minute’ task within an hour of leaving the house for something time precious. I tell myself the shoes are fine and what difference will it make to change them. AND, for less time sensitive stuff, I say I’ll be somewhere with a less set time frame, or I’ll set my alarm for an hour earlier. Works for me, less stress!

Time Blindness - My Big Three!

We will all have our own time blindness challenges. We will all have our own unique ways at harnessing the ability to get s*@t done, and to find our way through the time warp.

I thought it might be helpful to share my big three challenges/impact and to share some ways I manage them. I hope you find them helpful, and I’d LOVE to hear about your own challenges and tools. Please get in touch if you’d like to share your own experiences on my blog, you can email me at [email protected].

Mismatched Energy Levels: With ADHD, we often experience hyperfocus, where we can zero in on a project and get lost in it for hours. This can be an asset in our professional lives, driving us to innovate and achieve. However, it also means we can burn out quickly, leaving us with depleted energy when it comes to managing our personal lives. I realised I was putting all of my energy into work and had nothing left for my personal like, so my time blindness was running riot in that area of my life, and causing me a lot of stress and anxiety. I had a disorganised home, I was never on time, and I was exhausted and burnt out, come the weekend.

The way I found balance was by bringing in some admin support to my business. I quickly delegated a lot of things that I was terrible at managing, but took up a lot of time. I also have a ‘theme’ for each week for what to focus on, rather than a strict to-do list. That gives me the flexibility to embrace the hyperfocus moments when they come, and so shorter smaller tasks at other times. This means I am always ‘directionally correct’ and moving forward, albeit sometimes in a haphazard way. As a result I had energy left for my personal life, as I felt I had someone helping me out, and I wasn’t so overwhelmed.

Difficulties with Organisation and Time Management: Many of us with ADHD face challenges when it comes to organising our thoughts, tasks, or time. We might struggle with prioritising tasks, managing our schedules, and remembering important dates. This can be particularly challenging when you’re running a business, where juggling multiple responsibilities is part of the job.

I used to feel like I was drowning, and then I adopted the ‘delegate, automate, eliminate’ approach. I don’t even know where I got this idea from! I started to delegate things I didn’t need/want to do to my PA and other virtual support team members. I automated as much as possible with systems, so I didn’t have to remember lots of things, and then I eliminated things that I just didn’t need to be doing (there were a lot more than I expected!). I have a PA that helps to manage the day to day, a strategy coach that keeps me focused on the bigger goals, and my autism/ADHD coach that helps me to find ways to work that suit me.

I also LOVE this book – Queen of Distraction – I learnt to tidy up my house, thanks to this book. True story!

Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism: As successful women with ADHD, we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We’re hyper-aware of our differences and may feel like we’re constantly “faking it” to keep up appearances. This was a HUGE thing for me. If this is also something you experience, then you’ll love my blog on Superwoman Syndrome, which you can read HERE.

My tips for this really are about self compassion and understanding. Time blindness is something we have to accept impacts us, and there’s little point in trying to fight it all the time. Understanding how your time blindness shows up in your life, and putting strategies in place to support you, is all you can do.

Accept that some of the plates are doing to come crashing down, go flying off, or are wobbling around all over the place. That’s cool – you weren’t meant to have ALL the plates! But also acknowledge that you’re pretty kick ass at so many other things, and you’re doing WAY better than you think you are!

You're smashing it!

It’s a juggling act, and it’s crucial that we remember: we’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s through delegating tasks, implementing ADHD-friendly strategies, or seeking professional support, we need to ensure we’re looking after ourselves holistically – not just as business leaders and entrepreneurs but as complex, vibrant individuals living with ADHD.

In sharing my story about time blindness, my hope is to shed light on this often overlooked aspect of ADHD. We, as ADHD women, are a force to be reckoned with in the professional world. We need to remember that it’s okay if our personal lives don’t always follow suit. It’s okay to have off days. It’s okay to ask for support. And most importantly, it’s okay to be exactly who we are, quirks and all.

ADHD is a part of us, but it doesn’t define us. Time blindness can be a challenge, for sure, but it’s no doubt also what makes us brilliant at what we do! We are not just successful businesswomen, we are warriors navigating through the whirlwinds of life with strength and determination.

So here’s to celebrating our successes, managing our challenges, and embracing our unique selves in every aspect of our lives.

Until next time, stay bold, be brave and be unapologetically you! Nikki x