It’s a story that so many of us know too well. Women with AuDHD (Autism and ADHD) are often misdiagnosed, misunderstood, or entirely overlooked. Why? Because for years, the frameworks used to define these conditions have been shaped around the experiences of boys and men. It’s time we unravel this narrative and rewrite it to centre women—their voices, strengths, and needs.
For many of us, the journey to understanding ourselves starts with confusion. Perhaps it’s the nagging sense of being “too much” or “not enough.” Or maybe it’s the exhaustion of trying to fit in, mask who we are, and meet expectations in a world that feels overwhelmingly loud, chaotic, and unforgiving. These aren’t just quirks or personality traits—they’re signs of something deeper.
But instead of clarity, women are often met with misdiagnoses. They’re labelled as anxious, depressed, hormonal, or just overly sensitive. Some are told they’re perfectionists or overachievers. Worse still, many are dismissed entirely—left to navigate a storm of self-doubt and confusion. This isn’t just an oversight; it’s deeply harmful. A missed or incorrect diagnosis can lead to years of unnecessary suffering, self-doubt, and, in many cases, a profound mental health toll.
The problem lies in the outdated stereotypes that dominate clinical understandings of autism and ADHD. Women with AuDHD often don’t present in the “typical” way. Instead of obvious hyperactivity, we might be the quiet daydreamer who struggles to focus but thrives in bursts of hyperfixation. Instead of the stereotypical “socially awkward” person, we might be the high achiever, praised for being driven and organised, while secretly masking overwhelming anxiety and sensory overload.
Masking—hiding our true selves to appear “normal”—is common for women with AuDHD.
It’s a survival strategy we learn early, blending in and overcompensating to meet expectations. But masking comes at a cost: burnout, a loss of identity, and a deep sense of disconnection from ourselves.
The solution begins with listening. We need to share and amplify the stories of women whose experiences fall outside traditional diagnostic moulds. Clinicians, educators, and society as a whole must re-educate themselves on how neurodivergence shows up differently in women. Most importantly, we must reject the idea that we need to conform to someone else’s definition of “normal” to be understood and supported.
Receiving a diagnosis of AuDHD isn’t the end of the story; it’s the beginning of reclaiming it. It’s the permission to stop pretending and start living authentically. It’s the key to understanding why the world feels the way it does—and how to navigate it on our terms.
So, to every woman out there feeling unseen or misunderstood, this is your reminder: You are not broken. You are not too much. You are you—brilliantly, chaotically, uniquely you. And the world needs more of that.
Go on, take a moment for yourself—wrap up in your favourite blanket, savour a comforting cuppa, and let’s toast to unmasking the truth together. 🌟