Self-acceptance isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a foundational step toward living a life that aligns with your true self, values, and goals.
In my RADIATE model, which focuses on personal growth and alignment for us neurodivergent individuals, Acceptance is the second pillar. It builds on Reflection and sets the stage for the transformative steps ahead.
By leaning into Acceptance, you open the door to a life where your unique strengths shine and your challenges are met with compassion and creativity.
What Does Acceptance Really Mean?
In the context of the RADIATE model, Acceptance is about reaching a place where you understand and embrace all parts of yourself—strengths, challenges, quirks, and everything in between. It’s not about forcing a positive spin on everything or trying to fit societal moulds. Instead, it’s about releasing judgment, seeing your authentic self clearly, and rejecting the idea that you need to change to meet others’ expectations.
Here’s the truth: You don’t need to adapt to the world. Instead, the world must evolve to support and accept you as you are. Acceptance is the gateway to living authentically and creating an environment that enables you to thrive.
Understanding Your Spiky Profile
Acceptance in the RADIATE model also means recognising and embracing your spiky profile. Neurodivergent people often have pronounced gaps in their skill sets—areas where they excel and others where they struggle. These “spikes” are what make you uniquely you.
For example:
- You might excel in problem-solving but find daily tasks like organising your calendar overwhelming.
- You could be a visionary thinker but struggle with small talk.
By understanding your spiky profile, you can focus on maximising your strengths and finding support for areas of difficulty. And remember, you don’t need to be good at everything! Leaders like Richard Branson and Steven Bartlett know this, and they delegate tasks that don’t align with their strengths.
Let go of the belief that you need to be better at everything. Acceptance allows you to shift your focus to what truly matters: harnessing your strengths and building a supportive environment.
Turning Challenges into Opportunities
Acknowledging challenges isn’t about forcing yourself to overcome them at all costs—it’s about creating strategies and systems that work for you. In the RADIATE model, Acceptance includes identifying your challenges and addressing them in a way that enhances your life, rather than drains it.
Enter the ADE Method
The ADE process—Automate, Delegate, Eliminate—is a practical tool to simplify your life and focus on what truly matters:
- Automate: Use technology or processes to streamline repetitive tasks.
- Delegate: Let go of tasks that aren’t a good use of your time by entrusting them to others.
- Eliminate: Remove tasks that don’t add value or align with your goals.
Using ADE in Everyday Life
Professional Scenario:
At work, you’re juggling projects and meetings while battling constant overwhelm. The ADE method can help:
- Automate: Set up recurring reminders, invoicing, or scheduling systems.
- Delegate: Pass administrative tasks or project elements to colleagues or hire support.
- Eliminate: Identify tasks that don’t contribute to your goals or are unnecessary.
Personal Scenario:
At home, you’re managing countless responsibilities, leaving you exhausted and stretched thin. Here’s how ADE can help:
- Automate: Schedule online grocery deliveries or set up automatic bill payments.
- Delegate: Share household tasks with family members or hire a cleaner.
- Eliminate: Batch-cook meals to simplify your evenings and free up time.
Acceptance: The Foundation of Transformation
In the RADIATE model, Acceptance is a turning point. It empowers you to stop apologising for who you are and start building a life where you can thrive. Once you fully accept your spiky profile and the strengths and challenges that come with it, you’ll begin to see yourself through a lens of compassion and possibility.
For me, this journey was life-changing.
After years of feeling out of place and struggling to meet expectations that didn’t fit me, my autism and ADHD diagnoses gave me clarity. Suddenly, I understood myself and saw my differences as strengths, not flaws.
As part of my acceptance, I embraced a new mantra, inspired by Brene Brown: “I will not negotiate who I am with you, not anymore.” This realisation was liberating—it allowed me to lean into my uniqueness and stop striving for external approval.
Your Path to Acceptance
In the RADIATE model, Acceptance doesn’t just stop at self-understanding—it’s about creating an environment that supports your true self. Whether that means using tools like ADE, seeking community, or redefining success on your terms, the journey to Acceptance is yours to shape.
You are different, not less. Your spiky profile is a gift, and your unique strengths deserve to shine. Let this be the moment you stop apologising for who you are and start living authentically, knowing you are enough just as you are.